Help!

So here's a simple little story from my past that keeps popping up in my mind lately. I originally went to CCS for illustration, but pretty early on I started getting scared that it would be hard to find a job and thought maybe I should switch to graphic design for better odds of being employed.

Then on top of that I started getting scared that I shouldn't be at CCS cause tuition was so high and I was doing it all on loans. I had the option of an awesome scholarship at Wayne State and thought maybe I should go there instead. 

But I couldn't make up my mind. I started to freak out about it.

I asked tons of people their opinion, got different ones, and it didn't really matter what they said. No one could help me.

So one afternoon on my way to school I totally panicked. It was winter and I was driving down 96 crying. I felt like my future stood before me and I had no idea what to do and it totally freaked me out.

I started kinda yelling out loud at God. I told him that there was no one to help me. That I didn't know what to do, was unable to make a decision, and i needed him to tell me what to do!!!!!

I go to class and as I'm going to leave, the teacher asks me to stay after. Her name was Julie is all I remember. She was a character, kinda rough around the edges, I think I remember her cussing a lot. 

But she has on this huge artsy cross necklace, which seemed totally out of character for her. It was like 4 inches tall. And she tells me, "I just wanted to tell you that I really think you should major in Art Direction. I think you really have a knack for it and would do really well." 

I skipped and laughed back to my car. And I majored in Art Direction and have done pretty well.  : )

(I have to say also that this was another time in my life where I was not close to God at all, yet I believed in him and called to him, and he heard me and answered me. I heard someone say recently that even when you are not walking closely with God, he is still walking closely with you.)

But now that I've started painting and am loving it, I have to admit that I have moments where I wish I would have stayed in illustration. I think wow, if i had gone thru 3 years of illustration classes, I would REALLY be able to paint. 

And I also went through some really rough, overworked years in the beginning of my career that I would have avoided also.

BUT, I wouldn't have a lot of people in my life that I do now. Precious people I am blessed to have in my life. People who make me laugh. Encourage me. Pray for me. Inspire me. 

People and experiences who have helped make up me, the person I am. 

I may not have been all the places I have been. Spent Easter in Big Sur, seen a snow storm over Palm Springs, ran from a thunderstorm in the Vegas desert.

So even though it seems to me that being an illustrator would be a far more fulfilling thing, that doesn't mean that this wasn't God's plan for me. 

And I can still be an illustrator. I'm just taking a kind of extended detour getting there, with a lot of good stuff along the way.

: )

Psalm 141:1

O LORD, I call to you; come quickly to me. 
       Hear my voice when I call to you.

Exodus 22:27

When he cries out to me, I will hear, for I am compassionate.