Hidden Beauty

A few years ago I went to Mississippi with my church for Katrina disaster relief. Our group worked all week on an elderly couple's home, their names were Bill and Beth. Beth was a go-getter. Always on the move. Cooking, cleaning, working in yard. Bill was more sedentary and pretty much planted in his maroon lazy boy in the living room.

He was really sweet but seemed depressed and was pretty hard on himself. Anytime he talked about anything from his past he criticized himself, said he didn't do things good enough, didn't provide enough for his family, etc.

His health wasn't the greatest either and he was very afraid of death and pretty unsure of where he was going when it happened. He and his wife were Catholic, but he was very confused and unsure about his faith. Kept saying 'she' would decide where he would go when he died, referring to God as a woman.

Myself and another girl in our group, Shannon, ended up spending all week sitting at Bill's feet talking to him. About God and family, dreams and regrets. I was afraid the rest of our group would get mad we weren't outside doing the physical labor, but they were great and told us it was fine, that what we were doing was just as important.

Toward the end of the week I noticed a little wooden figurine on the tv stand and he said he made it, that he whittled wood. I can't remember what it was but i remember it was really good. He said he had others and asked if we would like to see. We said of course!

He took us in the laundry room off the back of the kitchen and on a high shelf that ran around the whole room were paintings and little figurines. Some of the paintings were really pretty, and the figurines were really cool.

But they all sat collecting dust in this laundry room. We asked why they weren't hanging in the house and he just shrugged. He didn't have the confidence to think they were good enough and got the feeling his wife didn't think they were either. It made me want to cry. 

I saw one that caught my eye. It looked somewhat unfinished but it made me think of a Flamenco dancer for some reason and it had the colors of my bathroom. I asked if I could have it. His eyes lit up and he said yes! Then Shannon said she wanted one too, one with flowers, and another girl Keira picked one out too. He looked sooo happy. I think it made his year.

That night after dinner we shared the painting story with the entire group. The next morning some people from the charity we were working through told us we couldn't accept the paintings. They were really sorry about it but said it was against the rules to accept any gifts and we had to respect that. I went and laid in the grass behind their little barn and cried my heart out. I was so sad for Bill. He had been so excited about us taking them. Now they would just sit in that room collecting dust forever.

Shannon came and found me behind the barn and we prayed together and asked God to make a way for us to have Bill's paintings. Then we went inside to tell him we couldn't take them, that we couldn't accept gifts for our work. He said that was ok, that he would get them to us somehow. At a later time he would send them to us, as a gift from friends to friends, apart from our volunteer time. He told us to write our names on the ones we wanted. So we went back in the little room and wrote on the backs of the ones we wanted. 

On the back of mine is written:

"Flamenco Dancer"

Oil on Canvas

Bill Jones

I look forward to having this painting someday. You have really touched my heart. Love, Jenni

And the other girls did the same, so he had an encouraging message from us all and he knew who wanted what.

His face was lit up and happiness seemed to spill into the room along with the sunlight. Then Keira asked Bill if he wanted to truly accept Jesus Christ as his savior and quit wondering and worrying about where he was headed when he died. He said yes without hesitating and we stood in a circle holding hands and we prayed together. Keira said she had never done anything like that before and had surprised herself.

Sometime after we left I sent them a self-addressed fed ex box and he sent me the paintings. Sadly I ended up losing touch with the other girls. Keira away like a week after we got back and I'm not sure about Shannon. All of our paintings sit in my closet. But he doesn't know that! I am going to finish the one I picked with my Flamenco Dancer vision, and it will be a painting by both of us. I need to stop being such a procastinator. Someday i will get frames on them and hang them. I might be 50 by the time I do it, but I will!

(So I just now went and looked at the back of the paintings, and look what Keira wrote:)

Dear Bill,

If this picture never reaches me, I will always remember how your heart and soul are like your paintings - pure, graceful, full of life, and made with love. I love you so much and I will start my new Christian life because of you. Love, the one helped you get to the golden gates, Keira. : )

I am going to try and find them and get their paintings to them. 

On our last day there, it was evening and the sun was setting and we were all hanging out on the porch talking and taking pictures together. Bill told me then that in everything we do we affect one another. And he said that we had changed him forever and he would never forget what we had done for him and his wife. 

All of us would not have been there if weren't for God. I wouldn't have been doing anything close to such a thing if it hadn't been for God showing up in my life.

God is good.

Psalm 80:19 

Restore us, O LORD God Almighty; 
       make your face shine upon us, 
       that we may be saved.