LOVE

Just have to write this right now before it all slips away. I am still sitting here, candles and lights glowing, old music playing, my husband sitting beside me, Gianna flitting around in her little white dress. Still wearing my wedding dress.

Married 10 years, we decided to stay in and have a fancy dinner. I prayed to God it would be precious. There were moments before we sat down, cooking it, kitchen a mess, trying to get dressed, little bickering trying to creep in, and I kept praying to the Lord to just let his peace fill our hearts and home. It felt on the verge of turning crabby and not fun.

Once we sat down, it was perfect and beautiful and precious. We prayed and talked and it seemed to go on forever, for hours. Dinner and dancing, dessert and dancing. Pictures, kisses, laughing, just felt so good in that dress.

It just felt as special and precious as my wedding day. I have a little lump in my throat thinking of the day ending.

I also find it interesting today, totally unplanned, ended up being the first day I tried to truly treat today as a true day of rest, as God commands us. I cooked most everything I could yesterday, got everything ready, and today just relaxed and painted and prayed and was mindful of God around me. Took a nice nap with G. Got a little hectic just before we sat down to eat, but other than that, today was precious. I realize true riches have nothing to do with money. And I credit the Lord with bringing my heart, our hearts, to a place where such joy is even possible. He is so good. Before him I didn't see the riches right around me or take the time to enjoy what is available to me.

 I am sure some people think I'm too much about Him, but I truly know without Jesus, without my father in heaven, I wouldn't experience things the way I do. Because I didn't use to. I have lived the way of the world (for most of my life) and I have lived the way of the Lord. His way is immeasurably better. He is precious and brings joy and blessing into my home, marriage, heart. Just can't believe how much I loved today. How much I am loved today : )

Venetian Sunshine

Almost 15 years ago now  I went to Italy. Just for a week, backpacked and stayed in hostels. I have tons of memories that feel like they were yesterday, have painted a few of them now.

In Venice I have this memory of being off the beaten path in what felt like a more residential area with laundry hanging, super colorful buildings, and not a lot of people around. When I search google, all I can find like this is Burano Island, a fishing village which matches my memories pretty much exactly, yet I read its 40 minutes from Venice and I know we didn't go there, lol.

My inspiration for the lady is kind of a celebration of where my heart and our marriage has grown to. In a couple weeks we will have been married 10 years! I would say the first 5 years things were slightly downhill, the last 5, things have been uphill. Thank God. Literally.

She is grinning at her husband who is inside flirting with her. She loves her husband, is happy in her cute little home, and is finding purpose in taking care of it and her family.

The next part might rile people up a bit, but its the truth for me and I'm sharing cause thats just how I roll ; )

Around 6 years ago or so when I really started believing and reading the bible, and finding it was bringing peace and wonderful things to my soul, I was NOT on board with the women submit to your husbands, or the not 'withholding' yourself if you know what I mean. Was very bothered by it. Can remember almost arguing with my friend Rebekah after she gave me a sermon about it and I think steam came out my ears.

BUT, on the same hand, it also tells the man to love the woman as himself. To lay down his life for her. I think 'lay down his life' means more than just literally die, but daily lay aside his own interests for the best interest of his wife.

Then I heard this woman on the radio talking about it one day. And she said at some conference they asked the audience if you could only have one, love or respect, for the rest of your life, what would you have. She said nearly all of the women said love, and nearly all of the men said respect. It got me thinking about it.

My husband doesn't really require anything crazy for me to submit to. He's not saying go scrub the floor with a toothbrush. But over the last couple years, I have started treating my husband with more appreciation and honor and respect, even when I felt he didn't totally 'deserve' it. I have fought him less on things, regarded him more as the man of the house, and have been much more available to him, if you know what i mean ;).

And naturally in return, he has treated me more lovingly, which in turn makes me more loving and attracted to him, and its like a snowball effect in a good way. And has been that way for quite a while now. We have bad days here and there of course, but most of the time, I feel loved and cherished, and he feels loved and respected, we are attracted to each other, and its a good thing. (and he does things like help around the house more and offers to use his poker winnings to pay for art classes :)

And the root cause of all this goodness is me deciding to go by God's word even when initially I was offended by it. But it has brought nothing but blessing and bonding upon us. God knows what we need even when we think we know better.

And the neatest is while he was taking the photos of me posing like a dork for this painting at midnight in the kitchen, we were talking about all of this. We both know clearly what God has done for our marriage, even if he isn't exactly where I am as far following Him. So intertwined in this painting is the memory of me posing like that and talking about all these things represented by it with him. : )

And I think its neat to know that over the years I am sure there have been women in this colorful little village who have come across the same truth and have leaned out the window to grab the laundry on a sunny day, looked out at the water and looked forward to their husband coming home from fishing : )