Even the wind and the waves...

Last fall on our trip to Florida we were only spending one evening on the ocean - in Daytona Beach. When we arrived in the early afternoon it was hot and sunny and perfect. We were so excited to get on our suits and play in the pool and the ocean.

Jason was running to the store to get a few things and Gianna and I changed and went down to the pool. After about 10 minutes a great wind picked up. People started going inside and one of the workers was putting down the umbrellas on the tables.

Is this normal, I asked? Will it die down soon? The guy answered nope, supposed to be windy all weekend. I knew the next day it was supposed to rain, figured it was blowing in. We sat there disappointed. It was way too windy and cool to enjoy sitting there let alone get in the water.

Then I said to Gianna, let's pray! The bible says that even the wind and the waves obeyed Jesus, right? God is the same God today. And we know that God cares about our details big and small. So we sat there on a lounge chair in the wind and prayed and asked that God would calm the wind. That we would get to enjoy our one evening delighting in his awesome creation, the ocean, the beach, the white puffy clouds in the sky, the warm sun.

And by the time Jason came back from the store, it was settling down, and within an hour there was just a nice warm breeze and hot sun. We played all afternoon and sang praises loud from our hearts in the loud crashing waves and ate up every ounce of beauty around us.

Thank you Lord :)

I've MOVED!

To my new website. Yay! :o)
It has a blog built right in.

http://www.glimpsesofheaven.us/blog/

The Old City

In the last few hours of our trip in Israel, my friend Vicki and I needed to get back to the Jaffa gate to meet our group. We were in the old city in Jerusalem. The torah scribe we were picking up our souvenirs from said a woman in the store was going there and would show us the way.

She spoke no English and took us a very different way. What should have taken 5 minutes turned into 25 and she was taking us down deserted corridors. I was terrified. All trust in the God forgotten along the way. She tried to lead us up a flight of stairs to a little apartment and I said no way.

She was all dressed in flowy white and would just turn around every once in a while and smile, and she totally freaked me out. In the end she took us to our destination. She wanted no tip, smiled and went on her way.

Vicki was calm the whole way and said she thought she was giving us a unique view of the city. I thought she was leading us to our demise lol. Later Vicki saw a special on tv and said she thinks she was maybe trying to show us where the last supper may have been when she was leading us up those stairs.

I think I totally missed out on a blessing by walking hand in hand with fear. But the silver lining was where i had been sad about going home before, I was happy a few hours later to be on the way to the airport to see my family : )

And the memory was burned into my mind enough to paint it, otherwise I may have never thought of it again : )

   

LOVE

Just have to write this right now before it all slips away. I am still sitting here, candles and lights glowing, old music playing, my husband sitting beside me, Gianna flitting around in her little white dress. Still wearing my wedding dress.

Married 10 years, we decided to stay in and have a fancy dinner. I prayed to God it would be precious. There were moments before we sat down, cooking it, kitchen a mess, trying to get dressed, little bickering trying to creep in, and I kept praying to the Lord to just let his peace fill our hearts and home. It felt on the verge of turning crabby and not fun.

Once we sat down, it was perfect and beautiful and precious. We prayed and talked and it seemed to go on forever, for hours. Dinner and dancing, dessert and dancing. Pictures, kisses, laughing, just felt so good in that dress.

It just felt as special and precious as my wedding day. I have a little lump in my throat thinking of the day ending.

I also find it interesting today, totally unplanned, ended up being the first day I tried to truly treat today as a true day of rest, as God commands us. I cooked most everything I could yesterday, got everything ready, and today just relaxed and painted and prayed and was mindful of God around me. Took a nice nap with G. Got a little hectic just before we sat down to eat, but other than that, today was precious. I realize true riches have nothing to do with money. And I credit the Lord with bringing my heart, our hearts, to a place where such joy is even possible. He is so good. Before him I didn't see the riches right around me or take the time to enjoy what is available to me.

 I am sure some people think I'm too much about Him, but I truly know without Jesus, without my father in heaven, I wouldn't experience things the way I do. Because I didn't use to. I have lived the way of the world (for most of my life) and I have lived the way of the Lord. His way is immeasurably better. He is precious and brings joy and blessing into my home, marriage, heart. Just can't believe how much I loved today. How much I am loved today : )

Venetian Sunshine

Almost 15 years ago now  I went to Italy. Just for a week, backpacked and stayed in hostels. I have tons of memories that feel like they were yesterday, have painted a few of them now.

In Venice I have this memory of being off the beaten path in what felt like a more residential area with laundry hanging, super colorful buildings, and not a lot of people around. When I search google, all I can find like this is Burano Island, a fishing village which matches my memories pretty much exactly, yet I read its 40 minutes from Venice and I know we didn't go there, lol.

My inspiration for the lady is kind of a celebration of where my heart and our marriage has grown to. In a couple weeks we will have been married 10 years! I would say the first 5 years things were slightly downhill, the last 5, things have been uphill. Thank God. Literally.

She is grinning at her husband who is inside flirting with her. She loves her husband, is happy in her cute little home, and is finding purpose in taking care of it and her family.

The next part might rile people up a bit, but its the truth for me and I'm sharing cause thats just how I roll ; )

Around 6 years ago or so when I really started believing and reading the bible, and finding it was bringing peace and wonderful things to my soul, I was NOT on board with the women submit to your husbands, or the not 'withholding' yourself if you know what I mean. Was very bothered by it. Can remember almost arguing with my friend Rebekah after she gave me a sermon about it and I think steam came out my ears.

BUT, on the same hand, it also tells the man to love the woman as himself. To lay down his life for her. I think 'lay down his life' means more than just literally die, but daily lay aside his own interests for the best interest of his wife.

Then I heard this woman on the radio talking about it one day. And she said at some conference they asked the audience if you could only have one, love or respect, for the rest of your life, what would you have. She said nearly all of the women said love, and nearly all of the men said respect. It got me thinking about it.

My husband doesn't really require anything crazy for me to submit to. He's not saying go scrub the floor with a toothbrush. But over the last couple years, I have started treating my husband with more appreciation and honor and respect, even when I felt he didn't totally 'deserve' it. I have fought him less on things, regarded him more as the man of the house, and have been much more available to him, if you know what i mean ;).

And naturally in return, he has treated me more lovingly, which in turn makes me more loving and attracted to him, and its like a snowball effect in a good way. And has been that way for quite a while now. We have bad days here and there of course, but most of the time, I feel loved and cherished, and he feels loved and respected, we are attracted to each other, and its a good thing. (and he does things like help around the house more and offers to use his poker winnings to pay for art classes :)

And the root cause of all this goodness is me deciding to go by God's word even when initially I was offended by it. But it has brought nothing but blessing and bonding upon us. God knows what we need even when we think we know better.

And the neatest is while he was taking the photos of me posing like a dork for this painting at midnight in the kitchen, we were talking about all of this. We both know clearly what God has done for our marriage, even if he isn't exactly where I am as far following Him. So intertwined in this painting is the memory of me posing like that and talking about all these things represented by it with him. : )

And I think its neat to know that over the years I am sure there have been women in this colorful little village who have come across the same truth and have leaned out the window to grab the laundry on a sunny day, looked out at the water and looked forward to their husband coming home from fishing : )

Chorazin

I have been meaning for a while to try and paint the feeling of the moment I experienced in these ruins in Chorazin in Israel. There wasn't actually water in there, but as I painted and was trying to convey the magical,  swirling, enveloping love and warmth I was surrounded by, it just kind of came out like this. And Jesus describes Himself as living water, so I kinda like that too : )

Journal entry from May 22nd 2007, the day I was there.

Today was beautiful. In the morning we went down to the shore where Jesus called out to Simon and Peter where they were fishing. There is a little waterfall shooting out onto the beach.

Then we went to Capernaum, where they have the remains of Peter's house, where Jesus also lived. And the synagogue, where Jesus shockingly preached that He is the bread of life.

Then we went to the Mount of Beatitudes where Jesus preached the Beatitudes to 5,000 people.

Then we went somewhere that changed me forever I know. The remains of a synagogue in Chorazin where Jesus preached. And Bill told the story of how Jewish men would become betrothed to their wives. Before they were married, they would sit with the woman and give her a glass of wine, saying "This is the covenant of my blood..." If the woman poured it out, she rejected him. But if she drank it, she was entering into a covenant, a promise with him, that she is pledged to him, and he will prepare a place for them in his families home, and when the place is ready for her, he will come back and get her.

So when Jesus presented the wine to the disciples and said "This is the covenant of my blood..." they knew he was saying this is a promise that he loves us and is pledged to us and he is going to prepare a place for us and he will be back for us.

You probably had to be there. Or you probably had to be me, but there was so much more said and it was maybe the most profound moment in my life. 

I was one of the last to come in, so I got a seat more by myself, more toward the center. I was sitting on the ground leaning my back against a column. All of the stones were a dark charcoalish color, and the ground was gravel of the same color. It was nice to be sitting more by myself because I was so overcome and I really cried. I just put my face in my knees and cried. I can still see the dark splotches falling onto the rocks through blurry eyes.

I felt SOOOOOO loved. I have never before or since felt such strong and tangible feeling of love as I did in that moment.

So cared for. So secure. So much more than had I even just been married. 

Jesus Christ. The beautiful, gorgeous, all-powerful and MIGHTY Messiah. Loves me. And I felt it. (And he loves you)

After we prayed, I weepily shared with the group how sad it is that there is so much adultery. People are looking for that 'in-love' feeling.

I left a space to continue writing, but never got around to it. I was just going to say that people are looking for that high. That in-love feeling we all know and love and is better than anything. And we seek it sometimes in ways that hurt us and hurt others and lead to nothing but brokenness and broken hearts and broken families and broken lives.

And all along there is our God, our Creator, who loves us more perfectly than anyone down here ever will. Who can fill our hearts to the brim with satisfaction, can fill our emptiness. Its so hard sometimes to slow down and take our eyes off everything we have going on and focus on Him, but when we do He will fill our hearts to the full. 

Sunflowers

Last Thursday my friend Lidia lost her ex-husband Rod tragically and unexpectedly. And her two young boys lost their Dad.

I know Lidia through a prayer group. 5 of us ladies, meet once a month at our friend's home. We have dinner and wine and talk and then we get out our bibles and pray together. We pray for the men in our lives, and each other, our loved ones, our world, and every other thing needed. Lidia and I joke we are like the Yaya Sisterhood, the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. : )

So last Friday, at 4 am, I awoke with a vision of sunflowers, blue sky, and Lidia. I figured I would paint it that weekend, thinking the funeral would be Monday or Tuesday, and would take to Lidia. But I couldn't go back to sleep and as I worked on finishing another painting I kept sensing I should do it NOW. I said ok Lord, I'll do it now. And it was quite emotional painting it. When i painted on the 'arms', I cried. Because it was like oh, i see what this is, even though I painted it, it was like someone else did and I felt so touched when I saw the little embrace, of Lidia holding her boys close.

I ended up finishing it in time to get ready for work and drop off at Lidia's house. She texted me later that she has been thinking about sunflowers a lot lately, just last month decided she is going to plant a bunch of them in her yard. Said they remind her of her mothers home in Tuscany. (And today she showed me several pieces of sunflower art throughout her home.)

And she told me that in Italian their meaning is Look to the Sun/Son. And that she took comfort in God showing her that we can look at the darkness, or we can look to Him for comfort and peace and hope.

So Sunday ended up being a small, intimate funeral, and she went to put the painting in the bag and planned to take with her to go along with her eulogy, and when she stuck it in it bumped on something, she said whats that and pulled it out. And it was the picture attached. It was taken on Fathers day.

A family member had given her the pics the day before, but she didn't make the connection, til that moment when she held them side by side. I had thought the flowers represented her and the boys, but obviously there was a different meaning.

When i looked at Rod's arms around his boys, and the flowers arms, and remembered the moment they came off my fingers and tears poured out, I exclaimed Oh My Gosh! And the sunflower leaves kind of mimic their hair, and the placement of their heads in the composition.

Just amazed. She said this has been a huge comfort to her and her boys, and I think its one of the most important amazing things I've ever been blessed to take part in or create.

In bible study last week they talked about how scripture reveals that we can't 'do' anything to make God love us more or less, but that when we delight in him, obey him, and seek him, He will demonstrate his Love to us more.

I have experienced this in so many precious countless ways over the last 5 years, this being one of the most moving. I am so thankful to be His.

Psalm 121:

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
   where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
   the Maker of heaven and earth.