In the beginning of my journey about 4 years back now, I was pretty much forced back to church by my anxiety and hopelessness. I was raised Catholic but since about 7 or 8 hadn't attended regularly. I am so grateful though that my mom raised me with a basic foundation of knowing that God is there to help me in times of trouble, and that is where I headed.
Going back to church and beginning to get into God's word definitely eased my anxiety, but I still had my struggles with it and a part of the puzzle was still missing. I wasn't completely at peace. I still had a lot of discontentment inside of me.
I wanted my relationship with God to grow closer. I still had this feeling that He was somewhere a little beyond my grasp. Someone to be honored and bowed down and grateful to, but not really mine, if that makes sense. But I didn't know where to start. Besides reading my bible and going to church.
I pretty much forced my Mom and sister to join a bible study with me, but it was very text-book like and dry and none of us stuck with it.
I joined the choir and really enjoyed it and loved going to practice during the week. I joined the parish council if you can believe that and at first it felt good to be serving God, but that became very old pretty quick. Long boardroom meetings about parking lot resurfacings and new signs and budgets. I toughed it out a full year though.
Then I got pulled into all different kinds of committees and offered myself to design a pretty involved book.
I had gotten myself a full schedule! And was pretty busy at work.
I can remember one day tearfully praying aloud to God as I drove to church in my little silver focus "I am trying so hard to get closer to you but I feel I like I'm getting farther away from you!"
And I was always praying for God to let me truly 'feel' his presence at church. I had this feeling like if I am truly coming into God's presence I should feel it, or be changed by it or something, but I never felt any different.
(And I do have to say that it wasn't all bad, in comparison to having been living my life with no concern for God on a daily basis, it was good to be on this journey of seeking His presence in my life.)
So one day on my way home from work I stopped at Kmart to pick up a novel. It was Friday night and I was feeling a little stressed and I wanted something to escape to! I was not the pickiest of readers but I could not find anything I wanted. I stood there looking and looking and getting frustrated and finally said forget it, guess I'm not getting anything, and turned to leave.
Sitting face level on an endcap as I left the book area was a book called In Pursuit of Peace - 21 Ways to Conquer Anxiety, Fear, and Discontentment by Joyce Meyer . I reached out and grabbed it without even slowing down.
I couldn't get home fast enough to start reading it. That evening was awesome. It was the very beginning of summer in our new home. My love affair with my porch was in those first head-over-heels days, haha. And from the start I could tell that book was going to be huge for me. What she had to say was awesome, but the way it helped me to believe in and apply God's word to my life and my struggles was life-changing.
By the time I was done with that book and praying a few scriptures within it regularly that applied to me I felt like a new person. I can remember picturing in my head someone pulling a big, black, ready-to-burst garbage bag out of a garbage can. That's what I felt like God did for my soul! Buh-bye garbage!
I was telling everyone about that book. I bought like 8 used copies and was giving it to all my friends, hahaha. Looking back now I know it wasn't Joyce Meyer's book that had changed me, it was the application of God's word within it and God had begun to transform me.
So a few weeks later I woke up one morning and was about to get ready to go to church and sing in the choir. But I just had this very strong feeling inside of me that I was supposed to go somewhere else. It sounds crazy, but I even had a general sense of direction that it was west, like I was supposed to go that way.
I called my mom and told her that. She was like What??! She said she didn't really know what to tell me. But then she called back and said she had been to a really cool Christmas play once at a church called Northridge, on M-14 on the way to Ann Arbor.
I looked it up online and saw I only had a few minutes if I wanted to make it on time. I threw on some clothes real quick and ran out the door. That morning is so crystal clear in my memory. I can even remember what I was wearing! A red knee-length skirt with little flowers and a red t-shirt, and it was a beautiful sun-shiney morning.
I pull into the parking lot and was like, what the heck! This looks like a shopping mall! And as I walked through the huge parking lot I was intrigued by the people. Young people! Old people. Black people. White people. There was a few young couples at my church, but there were young guys here walking in by themselves. Regular looking twentysomething guys, by themselves, going to church. I had never seen that before in my life. And there were bikers too. There was a section roped off for motorcycles. Interesting!
So I go in, and into the auditorium?! It was dark and kinda felt like when you go to the movies. Then the music starts. And my tears started. It was like a concert. And I know that is how some people actually criticize it, but it was a concert to glorify God. It sounded like the music I hear on the radio, but it was all for the glory of God. People were singing like they really wanted to and some people were putting their hands in the air towards the heavens.
You know how you look forward to going to a concert? How its fun to sing aloud and the atmosphere is great and its a good time? Thats what this felt like, but instead it was people worshipping God. I wanted to bawl. I couldn't believe such a thing existed. I had no idea! I was so thrilled that God had brought me here and that I could come again!!! I think we should be just as excited about worshiping God as we are about going to see our favorite band!
Then the pastor comes out to talk. They were in a Mythbusters series. The stage was even set up to kinda resemble stuff from the tv show, which Jason and I were totally into at the time. And the myth that day was "Life is a piece of cake." And this pastor talked for like 30 minutes and interspersed some video to further help you understand, and I was captivated the entire time. And it all centered around God's word and how to apply it to your life. And they even gave you an outline and you can take notes and take home what you learned with you. And it totally tied in with my Peace book.
I had a hard time keeping it together through the whole thing. The woman next to me gave me tissues. I felt that piece of the puzzle I was missing being pressed into place.
I struggled for a while though that it wasn't like the only church I had ever known. That it didn't seem as sacred. I went to both for the rest of the summer. But eventually I only went to Northridge because whether it seemed like traditional church or not, it was apparent that God was using it to show me how to walk closer with him and grow in my relationship with him. And bringing other people my age who loved him into my life. And I LOVED it! I was so excited to go there and worship God and learn how to live each moment of my life according to his will.
My mom was coming with me and liked it, but my sister was still at our old church and she thought I was nuts. She came a few times to check it out but still wasn't really feeling it. And then she came in October, and Pastor Harvey Carey from Citadel of Faith church in Detroit was preaching. And God somehow used that night to change her life. She has been at Northridge since and loves God and his word. Before she had not been walking closely with God at all.
Both of our lives since have changed and grown tremendously and we are forever grateful. Me and my Sistah : )
So a couple years ago, I was at a wedding at Citadel of Faith church in Detroit, and I see this couple that looks really familiar to me. I kept staring at them and trying to figure it out.
Then I realized, it was the people I bought my house from!! Tim and Cheryl Witt. After the ceremony I went and talked to them, and find out they know the couple getting married because Tim was friends with Leonard who used to attend Northridge. Northridge!! I'm like you guys go to Northridge!! They said they didn't anymore, but they did before they sold the house I bought, and they said they were praying for whoever moved in to find God!!!
They were praying in my bedroom, for me to find a true relationship with God, before they even knew me! And I wake up in that same bedroom and find my way to their church on a feeling.
There is power in prayer my friends!
Cheryl and I are good facebook friends now, haha. And she even came over for a playdate once and we had the privilege of praying together in this house which was totally awesome!
And then God recently bumped us together in a Walmart parking lot when she was having a very hard day, first father's day without her dad, and we prayed in her car together.
When I was looking for a house, I knew I wanted to live in my neighborhood. I drove all around it each morning before work and dreamed. I knew every house that was for sale by heart and had driven by it 20 times. But when I finally went to look with my real estate agent Lenda (who also lives on the same street where I bought my house and is now my neighbor) she says I have one that I just know you're gonna love. I follow her wondering which one and she pulls up to what is now my home. I had NEVER noticed it before! It was a total surprise. Like a little hidden gem. The only house with a little covered porch in nearly the whole neighborhood.
As I walked up to it I just had a feeling this was it. It was pretty small, but it just felt right. And it was. It was truly a new beginning. A new life. My destiny just waiting to happen.
: )
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord...
James 5:16
The fervent prayers of a righteous man availeth much.
No comments:
Post a Comment