No Fear!

A few months ago I was waiting for takeout at the Boneyard. There was a woman sitting next to me bouncing her leg nervously and looking frustrated. She was a pretty blonde probably in her late thirties, she looked like she had lived hard. The sun was in my eyes and directly behind her so she was more of a silhouette and I couldn't really look directly at her once I was sitting next to her.

I said "its taking a while, huh?' And she unloaded with restrained fury. She didn't raise her voice but you could hear the venom in it. Every syllable sharply pronounced. "I've been sitting here 15 minutes. My dad is in the car waiting. I am so f-ing mad. I'd like to tell those f-ing people off. I'd like to go f-in slap somebody."

Then she quickly said with sadness in her voice, "I'm sorry. So sorry for my language. And my anger. I really struggle with it. I try to pray about it."

I could sense this struggle, this darkness about her, and I felt compelled to share my faith with her, how it had transformed me, freed me from the big hold anger and depression had had on me. But I was held back by fear.

I just touched her arm and said "I'm so sorry, I will pray for peace for you." And then my food was up, and I was gone. I drove home with such a sick feeling inside of me. If I am truly a Christian, I am to live by the words of Jesus Christ, who I follow! And he tells us to share what we have found!

Here's just one example of his words:

Matthew 5:14-16"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house."

I am great about writing out my faith, 'posting my faith', but when it comes to face to face, one on one, I am hiding my lamp under a bowl! More concerned with people thinking I'm weird or too much or saying something wrong than being used by my great God.

So I started praying for God to help me share my faith without fear.

A week or two later I called my friend Brian. We don't talk very often. Sometimes only once every month or so. I said whatcha doing? He said reading. I said watcha reading? "Share Jesus Without Fear."

Hahaha! I was like ok, guess I'm going to be reading that too! They didn't have it at the store so I had to order it.

So I got it and read it. It sounded great, its a series of questions you ask someone, and right from the get go you ask them if you can even ask them questions, if they say no, you don't. Its very unintrusive You don't just throw it at them. Its questions you ask them, and if you get far enough there are like 5 verses you have them read aloud. I don't 'tell' them anything. They share their beliefs, then the scriptures, Jesus words are shared with them, and they're the one to read them.

So a few weeks later I was at my sister-in-laws wedding. Before the reception I had to run to a store and I had the radio on for maybe 5 minutes. The host Robin Sullivan was talking about the book "Share Jesus Without Fear" and they had used it to share their faith in a park in Milford.

I was like hmmm, thats funny. I'm probably meant to read this. But I still could not IMAGINE walking up to strangers to talk to them about God.

Then I ended up friending Robin on Facebook, I love listening to her on the radio. And a couple weeks ago I get an invite to a free seminar in the park on sharing Jesus without fear!

So I went, it was awesome, we praised God to awesome worship music outside, which I LOVE. And they had tons of testimonies. And everyone talking had been afraid at first just like me. They said the majority of people are open to the questions. People like to talk about themselves. And they said you ask people at the end of the questions, "if what you are believing is wrong, would you want to know?" And if they say no and you say ok and walk away, they often are like "Well wait! What were you gonna say?"

This teenage girl said she spoke to another teenage girl who accepted Christ and the girl sat there with her hands on her heart, looking kinda stunned, saying "My heart! My heart feels different!"

I don't know what that instantaneous change feels like. The change in my life was very gradual, but I saw it happen with my sister. In a moment she went from thinking I was nuts, to her hand over her heart telling me she loved Jesus, lol! And saying it like she was even stunned that she was saying it : )

And I know this sounds crazy to people, which is why I was so afraid to go talking to people! I can remember what I used to think of people like this! This is not a popular thing to go out and do!

BUT, I also remember what I used to feel like inside! Empty and sad and depressed, with a big hole in me. Something missing. I looked fine on the outside! But I was not fine on the inside. I needed God. So bad. And I know there are other people, probably lots, like that, walking around me every day.

So yesterday was the day we went to share. At Spicer's Orchard in Fenton. I was on the verge of anxiety at moments earlier in the day.

I prayed all the way out there and had people praying for me. I really prayed for God to hook me up with the right person, you go in pairs.

And I ended up with a girl about my age, and I love her! Totally made a new friend. I drove her home and we talked and have so much in common. And she was so cool how she talked to people. She is the youth leader at her church and she's just so laid back and down to earth.

The first people she took us over to were two girls, maybe early twenties, lots of tats. The one girl had a wicked looking tattoo of a tree coming out of her cleavage. They were so open to talking to us. One of them believed in God and Heaven, no hell, and no Jesus. The other believed in nothing. When we said if you are wrong, would you want to know? And they said no. So we asked if we could pray for anything, and the one who believed in God said her Grandma. So as we bow our heads to pray, the one who doesn't believe in God shuffles forward and bows her head and says "I want to pray too." Interesting!!!

We met another person who was Lutheran and goes to church, but couldn't answer "Who is Jesus to you" She kinda looked baffled and shook her head. She didn't believe in hell, and didn't want to know if she were wrong. Kinda sad, seeing that Jesus is the foundation of Christianity and the whole reason he existed was to take our punishment and save us from Hell. If you don't believe that, thats fine, but to be in a Christian church and not know that means something is really wrong!

And all of the rest of the people we went up to? Believers! Haha! I said, I think God is breaking me in, and I'm sure he was using us to encourage other believers to share their faith. And it was so natural. It was just like walking around having conversations with people. We didn't stick out. I didn't even notice the other people we were with now that I think about it. It was really cool. I had one man tell me he didn't have time for my questions, and that was fine!

So glad I stepped over that line of fear! Pushed past the visions in my head of me walking around like a sore thumb sticking out. I think in the picture in my head I was wearing a pilgrim outfit and clutching an oversized bible in my arm, lol!

My fav was the last girl we talked to. She had short funky purpley brown hair and a couple piercings. When we asked "Who is Jesus to you?" She said, "My Lord and Savior!" Hahaha. Then we stood and talked about God for a while while her kids played.

It was a beautiful evening. : )