Trust

This is a hard one for me to write! It really opens me up to show my past stupidity.

Its gonna be a long one too, I really see no way to shorten it. I want to document this amazing story anyway, so really even if no one reads that's okay too  : )

Not really sure where to start, but I guess I'll start with Jason and I have created a financial TRAINWRECK for ourselves. All through our twenties we thought credit cards were just free money I guess. We went out to dinner all the time, went on vacations, even once went on a 10 day trip through California, yep, all on credit. We were completely braindead.

I'd say about 5 years ago it really started to hit me, the trouble we were in. Tens of thousands in debt. I'm sure that's enough to make some people's hair curl. 

It also was around the time I was really beginning to have my anxiety issues. I actually never thought about it till now, but I'm sure that was part of it!

And, as you may know, that also was around the time I sought God's help and experienced his life-changing power in my life.

After some time as I began to listen to more and more great bible teachers, I was hearing about tithing. I didn't even know what it was at first, but it is giving first to God, for all that we have is from him. Giving 10% to him, as in the bible people were commanded to. He ALSO promises to give you back even more, but that is a HARD thing to trust in. Growing up it was never really a thought to give more than a handful of dollar bills at church. Maybe a five. But a few hundred? Whoa!!!!

10%! At first I was like oh my gosh, thats crazy. But then I started thinking, when something is on sale for 10% i think why even bother. When I get a coupon for a restaurant for 10% off your bill it kinda irritates me, that doesn't even cover the tip! 10% in comparison to 90% is scraps.

And then I've always grown up hearing people say, oh, the church just wants your money. Well, the church does need money to exist. Its not some magically free-standing organization. 

And I love my church so much. I have learned so much at my church, have received so much encouragement and hope. It is my refueling station each week. It is precious to me. I have met great faith-filled people there. I am grateful from the bottom of my heart that God has given me a church my child will love! I hated church growing up! It was a chore. Learning about God should never be a chore, and I am so blessed to have found a place that will teach my child the greatness of God in a way that she will actually want to be there hearing it!!!

And thats just my local church. The church as a whole, when its working right, is the hope of the entire world. Like the congo people I wrote about each day being rescued from horror. And people like me who were lost in a pit of darkness.

I thought its funny that I am willing to pay hundreds a month for a car, but so automatically averted to the thought of contributing to something so much more precious and valuable in my life.

And then there was the credit card debt. How can I give generously when I have all that debt??? Surely God doesn't expect me to give when I have to pay off all that debt, right? 

I have to say to that there are 'prosperity' teachers and whole churches, like the Word of Faith movement, that preach tithing so that you will get more. They tithe with the intention of making more money. Like God is a bank with interest. 

I wanted to tithe to honor and obey God and to contribute to the wonderful faith and the wonderful church that is priceless to me! And I just prayed that God would help us to stay where we were as far as paying our bills and help us to eventually work our way out of debt, which would definitely be hoping for a miracle I guess.

I began praying about it. And I slowly worked up to tithing on my income, not Jason's. Half of it to my church, and half to Christian organizations that help people in need and preach the gospel around the world. 

Not long after I was tithing, I got all 0% credit cards. I hadn't been able to get any balance transfers beforehand. On several thousands of dollars, thats a HUGE savings. I am horribly ashamed to say over the past few years they are not 0% anymore, but that's my fault.

My brother-in-law also sent my sister and I on a trip to Israel. $4,000 each. A trip I would see advertised at church and think how awesome it would be to go, but maybe someday farrrr down the road. 

I got to go absolutely free.

My sister and brother-in-law also gave us all $1200 for Christmas. They gave us all money a few years in a row and had never done that before.

Our pipes in our basement started leaking in several spots once. I was really worried. We live in a very old house and I figured that would be an expensive mess. In the middle of the night I made Jason get up and pray with me. I can remember sitting there in the dark, heartfully pleading with God, and our pipes were fine the next day. There's one little spot that leaks slightly when you shower, but it seems harmless.

People gave us everything we needed for Gianna when I was pregnant. A beautiful crib, a dresser, and the stuff we needed to buy ended up coming out of the 1200 Greg gave us. 

And there are tons of more little things. But I'll tell you, you can't outgive God and he always provides for us.  

And oh! One of the biggest ones! I was always so worried about daycare and had no idea how we would pay for it. Its like a thousand dollars a month! And we ended up not having to pay for it because my mom said she'd do one day, Jason's mom said she would too, and my sister watches her on Fridays, and I'm home on Tuesdays, and Jason on Wednesdays.  : )

Then I lost my job last December. On the way to work that morning I was praying and crying for God to let me have more time with Gianna somehow. I was just at a point where it was breaking my heart to leave her each day. 

I walked into work and got let go an hour later!

When I walked in the door my mom was over and she immediately was all upset-looking. We live paycheck to paycheck. Too long without a job and we'll lose everything. But I told her she needed to chill out, that I was not gonna get upset, cause I knew God had something better in store for me! And I hung onto that. 

And it ended up being 6 of the most favorite weeks of my entire life, with my little baby.

When i found out I could go back to my previous job though I cried tears of sadness. I worked many hours and very hard there. I couldn't imagine doing that again. Couldn't imagine neglecting Gianna. She is all about Mama.

But I have found it has really changed there! And now I work from home on Tuesdays, have a shorter drive, and work for a company that is actually growing, and one of the better-surviving car companies. And at a place where a lot of the people are like family and I have favor with my bosses.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

We still were not doing a very good job of getting out of debt though. We had no budget, and no plan. At the time I lost my job I really began praying for our finances and for Jason to have the same desire as me to get out of debt. To be willing to sacrifice. I felt like I was praying for a miracle cause I couldn't see any of this happening.

But God is greater than our circumstances!

Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University class came to our church and once-again generous Greg paid for us to take it, IF Jason would commit to it too, and he did!!!!

And Dave Ramsey, a millionaire financial advisor, recommends to give first. When making your budget, have giving at the top of your list.

Jason, after seeing the blessing that had come from my giving, actually said that he was willing to trust God and tithe on his money also!

And he got on board with the budget! I NEVER thought I'd see the day.

And now, with giving more than ever, we are finally getting OUT of debt. We have knocked off a pretty big chunk, and we haven't used a credit card in almost a year. 

After our upcoming tax returns we will be even farther ahead, and we can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel! 

And God continues to give. This summer our lawn was destroyed by grubs. My mother-in-law pretty much paid to fix it for us even though we protested.

Then our fridge went out. It was operating at like 25%. Our friend in heating and cooling said we needed a new one. I got down on my knees as Jason was on the phone with him and begged God to let his favor be upon us, we were working SO hard and that would be a huge set back.

IT STARTED WORKING AGAIN.

And we only budget like 20 dollars a month for Gianna clothes. I try to find stuff cheap, go to consignment shops. Kinda sucks with all the cute girl clothes out there, BUT, a few weeks ago, I was given a big bag full of very nice adorable clothes from my cousin and his wife. All like new and so cute. And coats and shoes and boots. She will be styling through the whole winter. 

With the Dave Ramsey plan he has you keep a thousand dollars in an emergency fund, so that you don't have to use a credit card when something happens. Last month our fund had gotten low. But we sold a bunch of stuff on Craig's list and I was so happy to fill it back up!

Yesterday I got really upset for a minute cause we're buying out my lease and they won't cover the whole loan for us. We have to come up with a thousand dollars!

I cried! For a minute I actually felt mad at God! Like oh my gosh we just got that filled up and now its gone! How could you let that happen? (eek!)

I sat on the couch with Jason and we prayed. I prayed for God to let me have peace with the issue cause I was so upset.

When we were done, Jason says is that your mom? And my mom walks in the door and sits down with us. I told her what happened and she said, well you'll be able to replace the money in just a few months with your tax return. And she said and at least you have the money, look at your brother who doesn't even have a job right now.

And I was like whoa! Its so funny how it just takes a little perspective. I have much to be thankful for! And if we hadn't sold all that stuff last month we wouldn't even have the thousand dollars we need right now! 

Then she said she had to go, and left just as quickly as she came in. 

Jason laughed and pointed out the fact that I prayed for peace, my mom swooped in and helped me find it, and then swooped out again.

Its so funny how God can give me the world and sometimes the instant things aren't perfectly comfortable for me I begin to doubt or feel like he's not watching out for me. Kinda ridiculous.

And then last night afterward I went to bible study and it was all about trust. 

God has shown up in so many facets in so many ways in my life! I am so very grateful. 

And I do not tell this story to brag about myself, as I think you can see, there's not a whole lot to brag about! God is the only one to be bragged about it.

And I don't tell this to make anybody feel bad for not tithing. God works on us with different things at different times and puts different things on our hearts.

I just think He is amazing. I'm sure a lot of people think I'm overboard, but God has gone overboard in the way he has showed up in my life. I am always wanting to share those things.

And he will do the same in anyone's life who takes the step of truly stepping toward him and his word in Trust.

Psalm 84:12
O LORD Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you.