Strength

The last few days have been pretty intense for me at work. My awesome co-workers have been hugely helpful, but wednesday and thursday were super intense preparing for a big meeting. It was the constant feeling of oh-my-gosh-I-have-to-get-this-done-right-now. All day long. Plus phone calls and emails that need attention constantly coming through.

I'll admit that a few times I felt close to panic. I'm just not built for this stuff anymore! I used to sometimes get a high from accomplishing these crazy tight deadlines. Not so much anymore. God did give me blessings here and there throughout that gave me relief at the point of crying. A hug from my friend Debbie in the kitchen. Connie doing shotlists for me. An encouraging email from a friend. Bryan making things clear for me. Jerome driving me all the way to the meeting and back to my car even though it was out of his way and he could have went straight home. (I was too frazzled to drive after the mad dash creating the comp). And my husband having the house amazingly clean when I got home and saying we were going out for dinner. 

But still at the end of each day I felt like a wet noodle. 

So yesterday morning with the big meeting behind me for the moment, I thought I would have a few moments of relief, take it easy, let my mind rest a little. But emails and phone calls and questions and realizations of things I needed to be on top of smacked me in the face as soon as I sat down at my desk.

Its stuff that I had enough hours in the day to deal with, but I just felt like I couldn't keep up the pace. I needed to veg. Talk about the the weather or Christmas shopping or something stupid with people by the coffee machine. But that wasn't happening. I wanted to cry. I felt overwhelmed. And the feeling didn't go away all morning. I said quick, half-hearted prayers as I worked.

At lunch I really wanted to just cry and get it out and say a few heartfelt prayers. But I had a meeting at 1:30 and didn't want to come back with a red face and eyes. My sister lives about 10 minutes away so I thought I could go touch up my face if she was home, and say a prayer with her.

I called her and said are you going to be home in 10 minutes? And she said 'I can be if you want me to be!'

So I had a good cry on the way to her house. When I pulled up there was another car in the drive and at first I thought oh no who's here!? But then I realized I didn't really care.

When I walked in the door my niece Colby gave me a big hug and told me she loved me. Followed by my sister. Followed by her awesome friend Theresa I was glad to see. They had all been ready to go out the door.

They offered me words of encouragement and then we stood in a circle and held hands and they prayed awesome prayers for me. And after they were done I just told God that I needed him to be my strength. I had no mental strength left at the moment. And his word promises us:

Phillipians 4:13  "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

And I was definitely at a moment when I needed that strength! And at a moment when I needed to know that I can truly trust in His promises.

Then they all clobbered me with their hugs all at once. And I will always remember that moment. Standing there surrounded by love and sunlight and the beating hearts of beautiful women God has placed in my life.

And in that moment I was refreshed and filled with peace and strength of mind.

And then the cherry on top was my sister gave me her ipod. She is going through a hard time herself and one of her favorite things is her music. But she gave it to me. And all the way back to work and all afternoon I listened to great music singing of how great is our God and his promises and his love and the help he offers us.

I obviously am a bit weak. But in Him we can be strong. And at peace.

Thank God!

"Because You have been my help, I will sing for joy in the shadow of Your wings." Psalm 63:7

(And I have to add at 7:30 now Friday night I am still at peace. I still had and have a ton of things to do. But the peace that settled on me in the midst of the blessing of my beautiful ladies and my loving God is still upon me. I love Him!!!!!!!!!!!! And I love how he uses his people and our circumstances to show and share his love with us.)