Fear Not

I just had the best moment ever with Gianna. My all-time favorite mother-daughter moment. I am really tired but I feel like I have to write it down now while its fresh.

Last night there was a huge clap of thunder.  It actually scared me and made my heart beat like crazy. I waited to see if Gianna was going to cry, and after a long pause, I just heard her little voice say "scawed." I went and got her and she came in our bed.

Tonight she was crying and didn't want to go to bed and saying "scawed" again. I am pretty sure its the thunder that did it, cause she always is happy to go to bed with her blankie and some milk.

I tried letting her cry for a bit, but it became clear she wasn't going to sleep. We will not let her go to sleep in our bed. If she comes in the middle of the night thats fine, but not going to get in the habit of her starting out the night in our bed.

So I got her and rocked and sang to her for a while which was awesome cause I don't get to do that very often anymore. I explained to her that I was going to put her in her crib but stay and hold her hand. 

At first she was saying no and starting to cry, but I kept telling her it was okay, and she was a big girl and has to go to sleep in her own crib, but I would stay and hold her hand. She finally nodded yes.

So I put her in her crib and sat on the floor. We held hands and looked at each other through the bars by the warm glow of the nightlight.

I made up a little song using Isaiah 41:10. 

Fear not, for I am with you, 

Fear not, for I am with you,

Fear not! For I am with youuuu,

You are my child, I love you so.

This is one of the first verses I ever learned that helped me to battle and overcome anxiety. I used to wake up in the middle of the night with fear and worry in my chest, and I would whisper that verse and be calmed and fall back asleep.

So I got to sing it to my scared little baby. She looked in my eyes through the crib, a warm glow coming from her night light, and her little eyes slowly blinked more and more until they closed.

Just such an awesome priceless moment. 

Her little fingers loosened their grip on my hand and after a few minutes I slipped away and she was sleeping soundly.

What a blessing.

And to think that God loves us like that, but even moreso.